Day 13

Well another good day. Hallelujah, Amen, Knock on Wood. They are decreasing his vent settings and he is totally off the morphine. They are putting him back on his daily caffeine and he is still on 3 antibiotics for another 3-4 days or so. They won't even try to start feeds until at least a week has gone by from the surgery. Time will tell. He looks good. Eyes are still not open but he is trying to get there. I'll take some new pictures soon.

Lots of love.

Day 12

Josh is still doing good today. He no longer has an order for the blood pressure medication, it's been stable. He is being weaned off the morphine (he has been on it every 4 hours, they are switching to every 6). The doctor is talking about starting to try and feed him through the stoma sometime in the next 2-5 days, this is good news. They are going to knock down his settings on the vent and eventually try and get him extubated and onto a different kind of breathing apparatus (I have to look up what the doctor told me). All in all, very good news. He is starting to open his eyes. I am predicting in the next few days, he will have them open completely. Of course, there will be pictures once that happens. The ultrasound of his head was once again negative, no bleeds, another thing to be thankful for. They will do another one in 4-6 weeks to rule out something to do with the white matter (something else I need to look up!).

Keep up the prayers! We love you all.

Just an addendum: the next breathing step is a SNIP (Sniff nasal inspiratory pressure). One of the doctors said that they were not going to do a CPAP next because of the air in the belly, but this weeks attending says this is what they do and that this SNIP causes more air in the belly and he will have to have a tube in his belly to get rid of it.

Day 11

We didn't get to see Josh today. Our first day not visiting. The roads are going to get icy and we didn't want to take the chance of driving up there and perhaps leaving Josh an orphan! We have called twice, and everything is good today. His blood pressure has been good except once when someone was messing with him. He gets upset when they bother him. He has his own mind already and shows it! He had a few desats (this is when his % oxygen saturations are a bit low) but they changed his position and they stopped. They did another ultrasound of his head but so far no results of that, not even a preliminary... bummer. I had hoped to get the results of that. They haven't heard a heart murmur today so they are not going to do another ECHO unless they feel they need one. He is pretty much having a relaxing day. We'll hopefully get up there to see him tomorrow weather permitting.

10 days old today

Josh seems to be doing better. They have been dealing with some high blood pressure issues and are unsure of the reason for them. They did an ultrasound of his heart to see if perhaps there was some clotting going on (not unheard of with the removal of the umbilical line) but there were none so that is a good thing. They are just treating it with meds for now. They will be doing another ECHO soon to determine if the PDA has closed and another ultrasound of his head to make sure there are no bleeds. If the PDA hasn't closed, they can't give him any more Indocin (this can cause NEC), they would have to do surgery to close it. When a baby is stable, this surgery has a 0% mortality rate.

Dave talked to the surgeon today and she said that Josh is recovering extremely well from the surgery. Had she known that he was such a fighter, she would have given us better odds. It's still all a waiting game, and we are just praying that there are more ups than downs in the upcoming months.

Saturday

Joshua is stable today. They are concerned about this for the next few days. It's all just waiting now. Waiting to see which way it goes. He looks so fragile, even more so than before. Because of where the perforations are, they are not quite sure what they are going to do for feedings. I wish I could show you all the diagram that we got from the surgeon, but the first one is right after the duodenum, which is where all of the gastric juices are, and the very beginning of the intestinal tract. This poses a problem because the duodenum can't be moved to do surgery the way the rest of the bowel can. It is going to be tough to repair later. Besides that, in order to do a feeding through his belly, the feeding would dump right out into the stoma (the portion of the bowel that is now outside Joshua's body) and not go anywhere. They are thinking that if they do a feed through the second stoma (just past the other area) that it will allow the food to go through the rest of the bowel and out the other stoma. This forces the gallbladder to do it's thing. This is one of the plans for later. If they just keep him on intravenous feedings, there is going to be liver damage. They say this damage, if it happens, will eventually reverse itself after everything is reattached. My stress here is that they are not going to be able to reattach the portion that is supposed to be attached to the duodenum. I guess I am worried about the long-term affects that this may have on him. I am also trying not to stress over the cost of this all. Most insurance companies have a lifetime CAP. Ours is a million dollars which seems like a lot until you have a long term illness. I remember when my friend Arden was hospitalized for cancer, she reached her CAP. It could happen and then besides the bills, he would lose his insurance for the rest of his life. Yeah, I know, should I be stressing over this now? Probably not, but these are the things that I think about. I worry that he is going to have a colostomy bag for the rest of his life, if he makes it through this. And, I worry that he isn't going to make it. Every hour and every day is a good thing and we just pray that he makes it through.

So there you have it for today. Tomorrow is another day.

Prayers

Joshua went to surgery last night for NEC. The surgeon only gives him a 50/50 chance of making it through all of this. He was stable after the surgery when we left at around 4:00 am. The next 24/48 hours are critical and will give us an idea whether he will pull through this. So say as many prayers as you can for both him and us. We love you all.

A setback

We got a call on the way back from Farmington. When they did a chest x-ray they found that the air in Joshua's belly is caused by a perforation in his intestine going into his stomach. This may require surgery. He is being transferred to Yale to be assessed. I guess there is no pediatric anesthesiologist on this evening and they wanted someone to determine what was going to happen this evening. So we are on our way to Yale now. He will be there for awhile and then hopefully transferred back to Farmington when he is stable. I'll try and update when I can, but I don't know if I'll be able.

Other pictures

One Week Old

I want to start out by saying that anyone who knows Dave and I well, know that we never ask for anything. Alice, my mother-in-law said that we should post this part because many of you are asking what you can do for us. So here it is... Dave and Dianna asking.... if you feel you want to do something to make things easier for us, this is what we need. Prepared meals that we can heat and eat since we are rarely home before 7:30-8:00pm in the evenings. Gas cards if you are really feeling generous as this gets expensive driving to and from Farmington every day. There you have it. Thank you to all who have been helping since the beginning, and in advance to those of you who wish to help. We can't thank mom and dad enough for everything they have done for us since Joshua was born!

Oh and for those of you who are wondering.. we are going to have a shower, sometime in April. Details to follow.

Josh is one week old today. He is doing better. He didn't have as many A/B episodes as yesterday but he is still having a few. His glucose levels finally went down at about 4 am. His ABG's are still good so they are keeping him on the CPAP. If he continues to have the episodes, they will vent him again.

Sue, his primary nurse was back today. He has an indirect inguinal hernia, which is common in preemies,and he will have to have that operated on sometime before he comes home. He is getting a lot of air in his belly from the CPAP. He has some bad bruising on his belly from the removal of the umbilical line, and his skin is sensitive to the monitors, so he is getting some skin tears on his abdomen from those. All of this is pretty much expected.

We got to start K-Care today.. YAY! I got to hold him for about 45 minutes. He did really well and didn't have any A/B episodes the whole time. His temp did drop a little bit, so they put him back a little early but it was great.

We got some pictures of him without his CPAP gear. They don't look so great but I'll share anyway. Everything that is put on him makes marks and of course his head is still soft so it gets misshapen. The yellow on his cheeks is an adhesive to protect his skin from the CPAP.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

A new picture. This is Joshua with his new CPAP. I was at first appalled at the pink hat but they tell me that is the only color they have in his size. The CPAP is attached to the cap so we can't exchange it for a more manly color. I guess he needs to be comfortable with his masculinity!

Joshua didn't have such a good day today. All last night and today, he was having what they call A/B episodes. This is Apnea/ Bradycardia and means that his breathing is stopping for 15-20 seconds and in that time his heart rate is also dropping. These episodes have been frequent so they did blood work to see what was going on. His White Blood Cell Count is high indicating an infection. They did blood cultures also, but are not waiting for those results, they are starting 2 new antibiotics (Vancomycin and one other I can't remember) to try and get rid of whatever it is he has, along with the antibiotic that they have him on for the infection in his lungs. His glucose (sugar) has been high today as well because his body is stressing over the sepsis (infection). Hopefully between the two antibiotics he will be back to his old self. He was not as feisty today, most likely because he isn't feeling well. He is still on the CPAP but if the episodes continue they are going to have to intubate him again and get him on the vent so that he doesn't have to work so hard.

His head ultrasound was negative which is a good thing. This means that he doesn't have any bleeds in his brain. They will do another one either Friday or Monday to make sure that he is still good with that.

We hope tomorrow is a better day.

February 20, 2007

Quick update.

Joshua is doing okay today. He still has bile in his tummy that they want to move before they start feeding him. He has started pooping, so they feel that will help things move along. When they removed the breathing tube they sent some lung aspirate to the lab for a culture and it came back positive so they have him on another antiboitic to treat that infection. I actually heard him cry today, this is a first as he has had the tube in and was unable to cry. He is up another ounce 1 lb 6 oz. I do believe that is all to update today. I'll go up for a little longer tomorrow.

Mom is trying to keep sane and not be exhausted.... yeah yeah. No lectures. I have heard them all!

A picture

Here is another picture of what you can see of his little face with the CPAP on.

Monday PM

So that you can get a perspective on how little he is, this is him next to my hand. He is really small!

We went to see him and they had removed the vent tubing. This could go back if he doesn't do well, but now he is on the CPAP. It looks like a miners helmet... still can't see his face with it on, but eventually we will be able to see everything! We think his eyes will open soon. Jenn his nurse said that they have a little discharge, so that means they will open soon. They are supposed to start feeding either last night or today so that is a good thing too.

I did read that the monkey toes and long fingers are normal for a preemie... because there is no fat, they just look really long. I can feel better knowing that he may not have toes like cousin Fred! His weight was still good last night, but they are weighing him twice a day now and I will get that weight later when I see him.

He got the ultrasound of his head yesterday and the preliminary results look good. We will get the final results after the radiologist reads it.

I think that's it for now. I have to start taking a notebook with me so that I remember everything when I get back home to tell you all. Have a great day and I will post again later.

Discharge day for Mommy

I got to go home today. It's bittersweet as I have to leave Josh there. I went to see him just before it was time to come home. He is doing better today.

He is 1 lb 5 oz, so he has gained a few ounces since yesterday. That is good news. They decided to take him off the vent and see how he tolerates it. They will maintain his breathing with a CPAP. If he doesn't do well then they will put the tube back in, but they would rather try and see what happens then wait.

They were going to try and start feeding him today, but the nurse said that there was a little irritation in his belly, so they are going to wait on that, probably tomorrow. They will feed him via a feeding tube, and start out with about 1 cc of half strength breast milk and see how he tolerates it. He is getting caffeine daily. This stimulates his system to breathe. We all joke about getting our caffeine infusion in the AM.. Josh is getting his!

All in all, today seems like a better day. One day at a time is how we all have to take it. They did say that in a few days we could start kangaroo care. I can't wait for that. I think one of the hardest parts of all of this, is not being able to hold him. This will give all of us time to bond.

I am still a bit emotional, but that too will pass. I guess with everything that has happened I can't be strong all the time, and I have to stop expecting myself to be.

Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement and prayers. We really do appreciate them all.

Sunday PM - Day 3

Post partum depression sucks!

Joshua has had a traumatic day... or maybe it's just mommy who has. Dave and I went over this afternoon and the nurse said that he had been having some blood pressure issues today. It had been running a little high and his poor little toes were turning blue (he had this issue right after he was born too). So they decided to take out the umbilical line. Dave watched, I couldn't. They had a hard time getting it to stop bleeding. This line was giving him IV fluids and they were using it for blood draws. He will have to have heel sticks now and they are going to insert a PICC line later on this evening. He had his first transfusion last night and they started the hyperalimentation.. this is all his nutrition rolled into an IV solution.. fats, protein,carbohydrates, electrolytes, etc. So seems his day hasn't been going so well. Lots of pokes and needles and changes. I hope tomorrow is better. The PA did say that they would discuss feeding tomorrow.. he will get a small amount of diluted breast milk if they decide he is ready for it. I believe they still keep him on the IV solution as well until he has gained weight. I hope the weight starts coming on soon. He can't afford to lose any more. The good thing is, they said we couldn't start Kangaroo care until the umbilical line was out. Now that it is, if he is stable, we can start holding him. This will be good for all of us.

I went over after I put the last pumped bottle in the freezer, and they had his little area all blocked off. I am not going to panic and just assume that they were inserting the PICC line. They said it was done like a surgical procedure. I may check in on him in a few hours when I pump again.

On Tuesday, they will do the scan of the vessels in his head and see what is going on there. Hopefully that will be good news.

Sunday

I have been over already to see him once and will go over again soon. I had to come back to do my every 3 hour pumping. Finally getting some breast milk... yay! It's only about an ounce for now. It's not bad, as they don't want too much. He will only be eating about 0.5 cc at a time, when they finally start feedings.

He has lost some weight again. He is now at 1 lb 3 oz. His little diaper looks even bigger on him now. Sucks to see it knowing that he really doesn't have any to spare, but I am assured that he will start putting it back on soon.

I had my first bout of post-partum blues. One of the little babies is going home today and it just hit me I guess, that it's going to be a really long time before that day is ours. I tried not to break down totally while I was over there. These parents were so happy, and there I was sitting there crying. I know a good cry is allowed, especially now, but I didn't want to put a damper on their happy day. I have held it all together for the most part. Damned hormones.... I feel so lost over there. All of the monitors and tubes and wires. He had hiccups today and the nurse told me that can happen when they are stressed or have had too much stimulation. We find out something new every day. So I had to sit and watch him instead of holding his little hand. I don't want to stress him out! So much to learn over the next few months. Some of the nurses are very attentive to both him and us. Today not so much. Perhaps they just want to give us our alone time, but at this point, I feel like I need to know what it is I am supposed to do and not do to help him get to where he needs to be, you know?

Feb 17, 2007 -PM

Today seemed to be a good day for Josh. They lowered his oxygen level to 15% and his saturation seems to be fine with that. He is still on the Indocin so they will not feed him for another few days. He has had lots of tests today, and is getting a transfusion later on tonight. This is inevitable for these little ones, as I said, they take more than they can replenish. They are also doing his PKU tonight so have to delay some of the IV fluid until that is done. The PKU is a test done by the state to screen for lots of birth defects and is a heel stick.. .poor little man, he has no meat on those little feet!

He is still very hairy. That is from not being ready to be born. It's called lanugo and is normal. By looking at all of the hair, we can see that he is blond right now, He looks like a little Sasquatch! Darned blond Italian with all that hair on his back! (ok we are not Italian lol).

He also has really long fingers and toes. We noticed this before, and today I thought that he is going to have toes like Cousin Fred (poor little guy!). Fred has monkey toes and can pinch people with them. I guess some people have to be good at something, hopefully Josh will find something a little more marketable than working with his long toes. If he doesn't grow into his fingers, he will either be able to play the piano really well or palm a basketball!!

I tried to get a better close up picture. It's hard to see features with the vent in and he is still under the bilirubin lights, so the lighting is always bad. (He is laying on a beach in Aruba... lots of sunlight and humidity!). One of the nurses got a picture while he had the vent out, but she is off for the next 5 days. We will keep getting pictures and updating you on his progress. So far, he is doing fantastic.

Saturday AM

Well it's Saturday. He is now 48 hours old and doing well. When the nurse came in this morning to take care of me, she said that during report she had heard that Joshua had been extubated (this means that they took his breathing tube out). Dave and I were a bit surprised, as the doctors said that this probably wouldn't be for awhile. We knew that we would have to see for ourselves of course. So after breakfast we went over to see him and he still had a tube in... not sure what the nurse was talking about... Joshua's nurse came over and told us about his night. Apparently, Joshua decided to extubate himself! We noticed yesterday that he kept grabbing at the tubing. The nurse said at the time that she didn't think he could bother it... well she was wrong! He managed to pull the tube out during the night. The doctor used the CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) - A device that reminds baby to breathe by forcing air in the nose) for awhile to see if he could maintain, but alas, it was too soon and they had to intubate again. So that was our morning! We will update again this afternoon when we can.

February 16, 2007 -

Joshua has made it through his first 24 hours. This is great!! We went to see him this morning. They said that his weight was up, 700 grams today, but this could be because of all of the monitors and cords. We did find out that we will usually see the same nurses. They sign up for their babies and most try and stay with the same babies. This is good news. It's good for the babies and the parents that the same nurses see them all the time. They will learn to know what the babies like and dislike and really bond with the baby too.

He is still breathing mostly on his own with few assists from the ventilator but they think this could be better. Dr. Casey had told us that there is a blood vessel in his chest that can still be open and they did an Echocardiogram today to check for that. We happened to be there when the Neonatal Cardiologist came in to do the test. He had this little tiny stethascope and the ultrasound wand was also tiny. You never realize that they have this kind of equipment until you actually see it. While he was doing the Echo, he was educating us as well. We got to see all 4 chambers of his heart. He said that this looked good! However, he did have a moderate patent ductus arteriosus. This can often be corrected. They are going to give him a drug called Indocin. If you read through the rest of the blogs, this is the same medication I was on to stop my contractions. For him though, it will cause the ductus to narrow. It can have side effects, but I trust the doctors to do what is needed.

I changed his little diaper for the first time today. I was so nervous!! He is so tiny and has so many tubes and wires that I was afraid that I would hurt or upset something. I did it though. He is putting out a lot of urine which is a good thing, it means that his little kidneys are working good.

They told us that after his umbilical line is taken out (he has a line going in for IV's and blood draws) that they will then do a PICC Line. Once they do this, we can start Kangaroo Care. This is a method used in many Neonatal Intensive Care Units. Studies have been done to prove that this method of contact can reduce the time spent in the NICU. This will also give us a chance to bond with Joshua. Dave and I will take turns doing this. It's also important while I am pumping, since holding him will stimulate milk production.

We met another mom there who started with a baby just like Joshua. He is now 31 weeks and has been here for 7 weeks. in that time, he has gained 1 whole pound. It doesn't seem like a lot, but it's a milestone!! I look at the difference in size and wow a pound makes a total difference. It shows that we have a long road ahead of us, and that in time we will start to see progress.

First Steps of the Journey

Joshua David Harrington, born February 15, 2007 at 4:48 AM. He weighs 690 grams,
(1 lb 8 oz) and is 12.5 inches long.

Dave got to see him 3 times before I was able to get up and go and see him. Around 2 pm, a mere 10 hours after surgery, I took my first walk down to the NICU to see my son.

Now the steps you have to take here are in stone. There is a 3-minute hand wash that is required. Betadine soap for 3 whole minutes. Doesn't seem like a long time until you are scrubbing your hands for that long, and if you get soap on anything, it is stained yellow. No jewelry on your hands unless it is a plain wedding band. Dave takes his off and of course, mine need to go to. We can pin them to our shirts, I usually just stick mine in my pocket.

Then off to see the little one. When I first saw him I thought that he was bigger than I had imagined in my mind! He is hooked up to tubes and monitors and leads. But he is here, and breathing and looking beautiful.

Medical stuff going on today? He is on a vent, but about 40 breaths out of 58 are spontaneous (meaning they are his own). He is on a small amount of oxygen, but mostly room air. These are all good signs! We thank God that we were here for a week and able to get the steroid injections to help his lungs develop. He had surfactant poured into his lungs after he was born to further help him along. His blood work looks good. They do Arterial Blood Gasses every 4 hours, Hemaglobin and Hematocrits, Electrolytes.. all to monitor his progress. They take a lot of blood, so he eventually will be transfused. He just can't replace the blood on his own as fast as they take it. One unit for a normal adult will last him 30-60 days.

We met with the lactation consultant today. She informed us that we need to have a medical grade pump and not the kind you can get in the stores. The ones in the stores are meant for woman who have babies that are nursing and they are pumping to supplement that. We, on the other hand, have no baby nursing and have to keep the milk supply up so that we are able to breast feed normally when he finally gets to come home. So we are going to rent one, freeze the milk and bring it here for him. He needs this, as breast milk has so many more nutrients that they just can't get in formula. If it's as good as the stuff I was producing with Arran, he will fatten up in no time! The downside is, I need to pump about every 3 hours or more. The lactation consultant here says every 3 hours, my consultant at home says 8-10 times a day. I have to be comitted to this and I am. I know that this will give him the best start ever and he really needs this.

The Delivery

I did start crying here. I was scared. Totally scared, for me and for Joshua. I have never had major surgery... I was worried that at 24 weeks, Joshua was going to have problems. So many thoughts going through my head. This got Dave crying. He not only had to worry about me, but the baby too. We were both scared but it was go-time.

So off we went to surgery. They decided that they were going to do a spinal for anesthesia. This scared me, but who was I to argue and I did want to be awake... so they left Dave behind so that they could get me prepped. The spinal wasn't too bad.... a little pinch in the back and after that total numbness in my legs but I could still feel them touch me and could feel pressure. The doctor said that this was normal.. that I would feel touch, but not the actual cutting. I was really scared at this point that I was going to feel something! So they did the initial cut which I didn't feel at all, and then someone went and got Dave.

Dave was fantastic and held my hand the whole time. He made me laugh a few times, not a good thing when doctors are cutting your stomach open! It only took like 5 minutes after the second cut before Joshua was born. We heard a little cry (such a good sign, as this meant that his lungs were good!!) and then they took him away so that the doctors could work on him. Before they did that, they verified that he was indeed a boy.

The doctors continued to work on me... the pressure and stuff was terrible... but endurable, I guess. After about 20 minutes of sewing, one of the nurses said that Dave could go and see Joshua. He was stable.. YAY! So off Dave went and I continued to get sewn up. 5 minutes of cutting and an hour of sewing.... wow. I was starting to feel "weird"... I think it was one of the doctors leaning on the top part of my abdomen, who knows, there were 2 down there doing whatever doctors do. Dave came back after a few minutes and told me that he was small but looked good... They were finally done and asked Dave to leave while they removed the cerclage. I don't really remember any of that. I found out later that they had given me some more drugs through my IV to knock me out for that part.

The next thing i remember was heading back to Labor and Delivery for my recovery. By this time, some of the spinal was wearing off. I had already started having major tremors/chills before we left the OR and they were getting worse. The nurse said this was normal after delivery, but I don't remember this happening after Arran or Emilee. I was shaking so badly and was starting to feel real pain. This was probably the worst moment in the whole ordeal. I was swearing like a trucker, dropping the "F" bomb a few times. They got me some warm blankets and some pain killers. It took about 15 minutes before the tremors went away and I was finally not in excruciating pain. Holy cow. It was all over. We have a son!

Our Story

We knew from the beginning that this could be a difficult pregnancy. After the loss of Emilee we thought we were prepared. This pregnancy had started out with stress and problems. Now that I write this, I feel like it was all part of Murphy's Law!

At 21 weeks, we found out that my cervix was dilating. This was not good, so the doctors decided to do a cerclage and stitch my cervix closed to prevent an early delivery. On January 23, 2007 I had the procedure done and was sent home on bed rest.

I continued the bed rest for a few weeks and on Feb 7, 2007 I was feeling "off". A bit crampy and just not right. I called the doctor's office and they told me to come right in. Upon examination, they found out that despite the cerclage, my cervix was still shortening. Dr. Welch decided that I should be admitted and sent to UConn. At this time I was also having slight contractions.

Once I got to UConn they continued to monitor me. The plan was to keep me pregnant as long as they could. The first few days were okay. I was put on a medication called Indocin which is an anti-inflammatory and also used to stop contractions. This seemed to work fine. I was on this for the first 48-hours. Soon after this medication was stopped, I started having contractions again. Saturday around 11 pm the contractions were a lot stronger so they gave me a dose of terbutaline. That didn't totally stop the contractions so they put me back on Indocin for what was supposed to be a 72 hour course. They don't want to use this drug too long as it can affect the amniotic fluid levels. All seemed to be going well until Monday, February 12, when my water broke. This was not good news. I called Dave and he came up to be with me. This was one of the days he was going to stay home as he and Arran were with me all weekend. As long as I wasn't contracting, I could remain this way for weeks/months. If I started contracting again it was all over. I tried to remain positive, but I had a feeling since I came in with contractions and only the meds were stopping them that it was going to happen again.

SO.......... After they stopped the indocin, the contractions started again within about 12 hours. Happy Valentine's Day! I told the nurse and they monitored me for a few minutes and decided to send me to Labor and Delivery. Once again, I called Dave and he was on his way here. This too was a day he wasn't planning to see me. We were expecting a storm and he was going to stay home with Arran and wait until the bad weather was over. Boy am I a needy one! He made the drive when the weather was just starting to get a little nasty. We were in L&D all day and the contractions were not consistent. This was good so they sent me back to my previous room. I got dinner and a few hours later they started getting a little closer together. We didn't think anything at the time, but did mention it to the nurse. They put me on the fetal monitor for what was supposed to be a normal 30 minute reading. An hour later I was still on, and we were noticing that his heart rate was consistently dropping. The nurse was concerned as well, and she observed that it was during my contractions that it was happening. One of the residents came over and talked to us and said this was not a good sign. Because the fluid levels were low, her thought was that during every contraction, the umbilical cord was getting compressed and his heart rate was dropping. So back to L&D to be monitored. She said that if the deceleration happened more than 4 times in an hour, we were going to have to deliver. Because he was breach, this was going to have to be a C-section (we agreed that this was best anyway, as it puts less stress on an already stressed preemie).

The first hour went well, but 30 minute into the second hour we got the news that it was going to happen. It wasn't an emergency per-say but they were getting me ready as quickly as possible.... all the prep was done, met with the anesthesiologist, got a catheter and was ready to go. Now, boy do I wish that they had shaved me!